Selene
If you’ve been paying attention to the features that have come before this, you might recognize Selene from when I originally picked up Hello RVA again a year or so ago (and from some of my favorite messy art experiments I’ve plastered all over the internet - pictured below). We both share a hometown and have been acquainted for many years now through various mutual friends and common adolescent threads, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that we started putting our creative heads together.
Through these times we’ve spent shooting together and a consistent connection through social media, I’ve personally had the pleasure of seeing her come into her own as an advocate for self-love and body positivity. The last time I met with her for Hello RVA, she was still finding her footing in modeling and we talked mostly about body piercing, and her various interests and hobbies. But since then, she has started to explore the modeling profession more deeply and passionately than before, embracing it as a creative outlet to overcome trauma and to find love and appreciation for herself. I listened to her story through shy, clipped answers as we sat together on her front porch - small and peppered with potted plants and garden gnomes. When we started out, she laughed about how bad she is at talking about herself (girl, me too!) but I loved her genuity and openness throughout our conversation and I walked away feeling like I knew her so much better than before.
Meet Selene
local richmond model, and advocate for self-love
Trigger warning: Interview contains talk of rape and some language. Post contains nudity and links provided below contain adult content.
“Don’t waste your time trying to be somebody that you’re not. ”
Tell me about yourself. What do you do?
I’m a body piercer and I model. I’ve been doing both of those things for two or three years now.
How did you end up getting into modeling?
I [went to] a Kesha concert with [some friends] and after, they were like, “We’re going to stop by my friend’s real quick and do a couple of photos.” So, we went to Mari (she’s @soundsnapphoto on Instagram) . She’s really good and she makes you super fucking comfortable so that just made me want to do more. I wanted to feel more comfortable with myself. She definitely made me feel comfortable and more curious about doing it.
How long have you lived in Richmond and what brought you here?
I’ve been within 30 minutes of the city my whole life. I moved into the city for VCU. You love-hate it… I’ve been thinking about moving but I’ve also been thinking about buying a house in the city. So, I don’t know.
What do you think drives that part of you that wants to stay?
It’s comforting. I like that it’s a city, but it’s a small city. It’s my home. It’s kind of nice that everybody knows everybody… but at the same time, you can’t get away from anything.
Tell me about some of your favorite places to spend time in Richmond.
Carytown is probably my spot. I like Galaxy [Diner], Sugar and Twine. They have really good vegan and gluten free brownies and muffins sometimes, which nowhere else has. I like walking around Byrd Park a lot - that’s my favorite park. I don’t like going over near VCU anymore. It’s awful. There are too many children. I’ll be driving and I’m like, “When did this happen??” Makes me feel so old.
based on my observations through social media and the times we’ve spent working together, I have noticed you come into your own as an advocate for self-love and body positivity. I’d love to know a little bit more about that journey.
Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with age. It sounds weird... but I really like instagram. It helps. You can be yourself and if people don’t want to follow you, they don’t… but people will follow you for being you. It makes you feel better.
I used to really, really not like myself. I had a lot of trauma … and I haven’t necessarily worked through all of it because it takes time. But I’ve come to terms with some stuff that happened and I’ve come to terms with the fact that you only have one body. So, get used to it! I didn’t think I was going to be here for this long… I never saw myself being alive past 25. It just comes at you and you have to work with it.
What inspires you? How do you keep motivated?
People that are unapologetically themselves. I love Chris Crocker so much. He’s done porn, he’s a sex worker, but he doesn’t give a fuck and he’ll let people know that he doesn’t give a fuck. But he’s hilarious! I don’t necessarily have a lot of inspiration, because I like doing my own thing. A lot of what I do is social media shit. And I say that I love instagram because it’s so creativity-based and helps small businesses get more followers. But at the same time, it’s so superficial. So it’s a hard balance that you have to work with. But life is about balance too.
Sometimes I get messages from people who say that I inspire them. And I’m like… “I’m just a regular person! You guys don’t know me!” That’s really heartening to know that you have an effect on somebody in a positive way. I wish I would have had more positive people in my life. So maybe I could have started this earlier or known that I could have.
Tell me about some of your most rewarding experiences.
The friends that I’ve made. Like, Mari for example. She’s one of my best friends now. She’s one of those people that doesn’t give a fuck. I’ve never had so many genuine friends and then what I was talking about before about trauma and stuff… taking my body back and taking myself for my own and doing what I want to do. That’s also helped a lot with coming out of my shell.
Would you say that your overall experience has been a positive one?
Most of it is positive. Mostly from other women. I’ve had creepy people… it comes with the territory. One time I had somebody comment something to do with losing weight… and I’m just like, “Go away. I don’t care. Leave me alone.” Sometimes it’s a little frustrating when you compare yourself to other people. But you have to learn that you can’t do that. So it’s more of a learning curve as to how to avoid certain things in your career to where you can make it your own experience and not be at the mercy of everybody judging you. And also… me being the “fat goth kid” in middle school and high school… I got picked on a lot. I got some tough skin. You just learn that at some point, I guess. So that sort of helps me.
You have to surround yourself with people that are positive and people that aren’t going to put you down for shit. If somebody even considers that, I’m like, “Nope.” You have to surround yourself with people that care about you and want you to be happy.
What are you most proud of?
Number one: being alive. I wouldn’t have been able to do all of this. Number two… Mari wrote a book.
(At this point, Selene begins to describe this book, which she lets me peruse after the interview, published by her afore-mentioned good friend, Mari Loth called “My Goodbye Letter To You.” Selene was featured on the cover, with those words written on her body. Inside of the book were black and white photographs of models of all shapes, all sizes, all ages - each body featuring lines from a poem Mari had written. Each model chose a line that spoke to them and each page included a short explanation for why they chose what they did. The book was beautifully done and can be found and purchased on Etsy or Blurb. Directly below is the portrait of Selene and her story - Credit and special thanks to Mari Loth.)
“I was emotionally and sexually abused by my first long-term partner. I was eighteen at the time. I never had the best relationship with my parents, so I didn't know much better. I craved love and he knew it.
We started dating January 5, 2010. It took him about a week to say I love you, and a month into the relationship we were having sex. It was my first time and I don't even remember it. I used to tell myself it's because it wasn't a memorable experience, but now I realize blocking it out was my only way to cope.
It has taken me years to understand why I stayed with him for over a year. When he broke up with me via text, I was devastated. I loved my abuser, my rapist. I used to partially blame myself for being young and naive, but the thing about abuse is that it traps you in cycles... it has a funny way of always finding and clinging to you. I refuse to be in that cycle ever again.
I never had closure because I never saw you again after that. I'm tired of being afraid that I'll see you out in public somewhere. I'm tired of seeing your face and hearing your voice every time I'm intimate with someone - that's why I want to say goodbye. After eight years, I think I'm finally ready to say goodbye, and this poem found me at just the perfect time.”
I didn’t realize it, but I picked the fucking title of the book, so I was on the cover. But it was my first time posing nude and it was the first time I was ever open about [being] raped by one of my exes. I just wrote a whole paragraph basically saying I didn’t want to be bogged down by that anymore. That definitely helped. She helped me with a lot of shit.
Was there ever a moment when you had hesitations?
Not really. You set your own limits. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it. You just do whatever you’re comfortable with and it’s fine.
Do you get to travel a lot?
It can be a thing that you travel for… but it requires money. There are some people who get paid to go places. I would like to be there, but not yet! I always wanted to go and model for hot topic when I was in high school. Maybe someday!
What would you say is your ultimate goal?
I do like piercing. What would be super sweet is if I could just model or cam to the point where that was my main source of income. But realistically … probably not so much. I would like to think that at some point, but… I’m okay for right now. I would like to hope that sex work becomes more accepted to where it doesn’t interfere with getting normal jobs. At a certain point, if you’re out there enough, it affects regular modeling. Chris Crocker, for example, can’t get on TV because he’s done porn. Acting has been his number one thing, but he can’t. I don’t know if that would ever hinder me from doing any type of bigger modeling stuff. But oh well if it does. You gotta do life one day at a time.
Do you have any advice for anyone seeking to break into your line of work?
If you want to do something, do it. Get advice from people that you trust. There’s a lot of sleazy shit and there’s a lot of stuff that can go wrong. It’s not exactly the safest thing you can do… so you have to be careful. Even with just regular modeling. Because you can’t trust everybody. Surround yourself with people who share your same values. If you don’t like somebody, don’t hang out with them. Don’t waste your time trying to be somebody that you’re not. Don’t waste your time doing things that somebody else wants you to do. Don’t underestimate yourself. You do you.
Follow Selene on Instagram | @richmondtrash and @richmondtrashmodeling
Note: the above instagram accounts contain implied nudity and adult content.
Virginia photographer and artist.
