Michelle Barbosa — Hello RVA

Meet Michelle Barbosa - otherwise known as “The Barbosa Bulldog”

Realtor at River fox Realty and President of Femme Forward.

In which we talk about what it takes to be a Realtor, the rules of Ultimate Frisbee and how Richmond is basically a foodie’s paradise.

I met Michelle when I decided to join my first (and honestly only) networking group in Richmond. Altogether, I found the idea of these groups intimidating until I accepted an invitation to a Femme Forward meet and greet at Don’t Look Back where, if all else failed, at least I had free tacos. I kind of expected to stand around awkwardly as I so often did at social gatherings where - if I was lucky - I might recognize one or two people to whom I could cling to like a weird, blundering shadow. Instead, the environment was so welcoming and comfortable, I had no trouble introducing myself and chatting. After a while, I came to the conclusion that these women were just too effing cool for it to be a one-off. So, I kept coming back.

Michelle was the first with whom I had a one on one meeting, further confirming my initial feelings about the group - she makes conversation feel effortless and she has a genuine interest in listening, asking questions and getting to know a person. (And I’m already 100% sold on having her as my realtor when my husband and I finally buy a house!)

Tell me about your business! How did you get into Real estate?

It was really funny. I went to school at the University of Virginia for a semester and - even though they just won the basketball championship - I didn’t really like UVA. So I left and went to the university of Kansas and I thought I was going to be a lawyer. I was very determined and my parents were happy that I wanted to be a lawyer. So, I was taking pre-law courses. I love debate and I’m very impassioned about a lot of things, so I figured that was a natural line of work for me.

[While] I was visiting from Kansas, I got into a car accident. I had a bunch of surgeries done, so I couldn’t leave Virginia until I had settled the case. It didn't look like I was going to settle any time soon and I didn’t want to take online courses (because I do not have the self discipline for that.) So, [I thought] “I’ll just take classes at VCU that transfer to KU in the meantime.” But when I was at VCU, they had no pre-law anything. So, I was just taking the electives that I needed for my degree at Kansas.

I took a gender studies course and that was like... MIND BLOWN. Change my major! Change everything! I’m staying here! So, I started planting roots in Richmond. I was close to my family, my twin sister was only an hour away, my parents were an hour away and so it felt more natural than flying back and forth to Kansas. I had a little bit of a “New Girl” situation. I lived with two guys, started dating one of them, who is now my husband.

I was as in the last year of my masters [by the time I was] 21. It was in psychology, because then I thought, “Okay, now I’m going to be a psychologist because obviously gender studies ... this is my new path in life.”

We were paying $2,000 a month in rent in the fan. I thought, “We’re in Richmond, we might as well live it up.” Then I was like, “Whoa, I can’t afford this.” At $2000 a month, I wasn’t eating enough. I was paying to live in a place that provides walk-ability to places to eat... but I couldn’t eat there because I was paying so much in rent!

I was talking to my then-boyfriend. If we could afford to do this, we could just … go in and buy a house. So, we buy a house and our mortgage is half - 1,200 bucks a month - very reasonable compared to our rental and it felt good to invest in something.

I became obsessed! I don’t know if I was just going through this phase where I was like “I’m a lawyer, just kidding. I’m a psychologist, just kidding! Now I love houses!” But I just became obsessed with Zillow and I was on Matrix, so I was just looking at houses constantly.

My realtor was so kind (because I had no concept of how to buy a house). I remember I called her like you do for a landlord. I called her and I said, “Hey this house is for sale and I saw that you’re listing it. Can you show it to me?” I thought she would show it to me and I would be like “okay, this is how much I want to pay for it” and then I go get a bank loan… and that is not how you buy a house.

I asked the stupidest questions and she was the most gracious, nicest person who educated me the entire way, made me feel comfortable and not stupid and allowed me to focus on what I actually what I wanted to focus on - which was looking at cute houses.

My twin sister came to move to Richmond and I was like, “Don’t worry I got you. I have the perfect realtor, I’ll set you guys up, it's going to be great.” And then my best friend was moving and I went, “Don’t worry, I will find your house!” So I was doing it basically for free. I was online every single morning and every single night scouring the internet, trying to find houses. I was showing up at every single one of their appointments to look with them because I was so obsessed.

Then I remember my husband saying, “You do this more than you do your school work and if you’re going to go get your doctorate, you need to decide. You need to figure out what your path is because your obsessions are becoming a little much.” So, I was like, “You’re right. I should see if I could do something like that.” But I didn’t know the hours, all of that stuff seemed crazy to me! My realtor had two small children and was pregnant. How does she show up at 6pm to show us houses and she’s emailing me back at 2am? It was like she never sleeps! I don’t want that life. That sounds awful!

It was two days after I had that conversation with my husband that the realtor that I loved posted online that she was looking for an assistant. So, I was like “PERFECT.” I can figure out if I want to do it and if I actually want to go get my license. And so I did the assistant thing and I was able to really see her hours and see how rewarding it was. That August, she said, “You’re really good at sales. You should get your license and become my buyers agent.” Which basically means she has an excess of business she can’t handle, so she was referring it out to other people. But if she has someone on a team with her, she can refer it out more often to the same person and we [would] work together.

So, I became her buyers agent for six months to a year. I loved it! Then we made Riverfox (which is a big story in itself) and now it’s been almost four years!

do you have any other hobbies or side gigs that are unrelated to your business?

I play Ultimate Frisbee in Richmond. [It’s] an amazing community to be a part of because the sport is conducted in a way that’s spirited. It’s competitive but it’s positive, which I feel like a lot of sports are like, “DEMOLISH them!” Frisbee’s never been like that. So I’ve always loved being a part of that community. It’s funny because if you’re not around the community, it’s really hard to know about it. (It IS on ESPN now, just saying.)

Basically it’s a crap ton of running. The way the game is played is you have your team, which is seven on a field, (unless you’re indoors and it’s five.) You have two handlers, which are people who can throw really well (anywhere you run they can get the disc to you.) Then there are five people who make a cut and try to catch the disc. The other team is mainly set up with the same type of people who can run or throw and they are playing defense on every other person. The weird part is that when you catch [the disc], you can’t move your feet. You can pivot but you can’t run around anymore. So say you run really far and you’re about to be in an inzone and you catch it... you have to get someone else to run forward and be open for you to throw to on your team, so it’s kind of like football in a sense that it’s like “go long!” and then you throw it, but if you don’t catch it in the inzone, it’s not a point.

You have ten seconds to throw and the person on the defense is counting, so you feel somewhat rushed to make a decision and that’s when mistakes happen. Then it's a turn and the other team gets the disc. You usually play until fifteen in a normal game and indoors you play until the time runs out.

It’s great endurance exercise. And so inclusive! One, it’s positive and two, it’s not terribly difficult to learn how to run and to learn how to catch. It’s harder to learn how to throw and typically, there are two people who are really good at throwing... so usually you can get the disc and wait for them to come back, give it back to them and then you run again. So it is a good sport to include more people than a specific sport like soccer where you need a lot of foot coordination.

We already touched on how you found yourself living in Richmond. but are there any stories about what helped draw you in?

I had come down here [to Richmond] before I had knee surgery because of the car accident and I visited my best friend who was going to VCU. I remember we got into Godfreys and there was a drag show with Beyonce dancers. I was like, “Where else in the world is this happening? This is amazing.” I was so hooked! We came outside of the drag show and everyone was so friendly and the drag queens were so friendly. I think we made four friends on the way back, we got free pizza and I just remember being like, “Richmond is such a weird, funky community!” So that gave me a really positive experience to draw back on.

I also eat a lot. I should call it one of my hobbies. I’m an avid eater. The Richmond food scene is so good. I mean, I don’t like beer and I know we’re the number one beer place or whatever but … the FOOD. Every time my parents visit, they don’t understand. They’re like, “Applebees?” … and I’m like, “Kill me with a knife.” Yeah. The food scene is why I never leave.

What are your favorite places to spend time in the city?

Food! Okay, so I have categories. Asadao is one of my favorites. They have a fantastic happy hour and they have some of the best wings and tacos that I have had in Richmond period. Their margaritas are insane. Every time I go to a place and I order a margarita, frozen or not, it’s like syrup. It doesn’t taste good. I remember I was drinking [one at Asado] and I was talking about it with my sister who was trying not to drink for the month of January as her new year’s resolution. (We were there at the end of January.) She ended up breaking it to try mine and then ordered her own because of how good it was. So, Asado is one of my very very favorite places if I’m going to have a margarita.

I like Little Nickel: It’s right across the street from my job. My favorite pizza is Belmont pizza. My husband’s favorite place is Weezies in Carytown. It's just good diner food with big portions. Kitchen 64’s Scott’s Addition sandwich! I will take people from out of town to try it. Pho so 1 is my favorite pho place. Cafe Nostra on brookland park blvd just opened in Northside, which is a branch of Black Hand coffee in the fan. They have the best dirty chai tea lattes in the city. Shyndigz is legit. They have wine Wednesday. Half bottles of wine and you get two pieces of cake for one. It’s a trap… Okay, I’m done with food!

What are some of your primary focuses in life?

In general, I’ve always been very passionate about working with people and trying to make sure that it’s not one-sided. What I mean by that is in real estate, I feel like it can feel very “wham bam thank you ma’am!” It can feel very, “I got you your house, good-bye, I’ll never see you again!” There are tons of realtors like that and there are people who want that. Some people don’t want realtors who know their sister’s name or what tattoos they have.

I’ve been trying to befriend clients on Facebook so I can keep up with them and know what’s going on in their life. One of my clients was posting about veterans and I said, “Oh, I remember you telling me your dad was a veteran, right?” and she was like “Oh my god, I’m crying, I can’t believe you remember that!” I try to make sure that I’m listening and that I’m making genuine connections with people.

That’s very important in my life. So in the Frisbee community, in my volunteer work, just anything that I do, I don’t want to forget people and I don’t want to be forgotten. I just want to make sure we all know each other and love each other and can reach out for reasons outside of real estate or whatever we’re doing.

That was a big thing about why I wanted to be a lawyer. I was upset with things going on the country and how people were treated and I always feel impassioned for other people more than myself.

They call me the Bulldog at work because I take no shit from other listing agents who are trying to screw over my clients. I just won’t give up. I will fight for you.

What would you say are your most proud and rewarding experiences?

I grew up in a military family and so there were a lot of expectations and regimented rules. I felt the most pressure because as a kid I was very book smart. Not common-sense smart, but book smart. I could take a test and do really well, but would I turn in my homework?

So I think my parents just put a lot of expectations on me that they didn’t necessarily put on my siblings because they weren’t as naturally like, “Oh, duh that’s the answer.” They were like, “I have to work at this, I have to do homework.” So [my parents] were a lot more lenient with them getting grades that weren’t perfect. But with me, they were like “You’re going to be a lawyer and you’re going to go to school and you’re going to do the thing.” And so I put a lot of pressure on myself. I think going to VCU and figuring out what I was really interested in and just being like, “Screw it, I’m just going to pursue it and if my parents are upset, it’s not their life.” So I think kind of exploring new avenues and figuring out what I wanted to do in life which - I realize later - was to become a realtor.

How I could I help people and still do something that I’m passionate about and make a decent living. When you grow up and you think about what you want to do, it’s so hard to be like, “That’s what I want to do and it’s going to feel rewarding AND I’m going to make money.” Those three things don’t usually connect.

“I don’t want to forget people and I don’t want to be forgotten.”

It’s so unfair the way people put expectations on [others] to go to college for things that they’re not necessarily that interested in … and then you’re just in debt forever and trying to pay your way out of debt instead of figuring out what you want to do. There’s all this pressure to get out, get a job, get a house. It’s really difficult to figure out, “This is what I want to do, so how do I pursue it to make enough that I’m comfortable?” Because again, real estate is rewarding, I love it and I wouldn’t trade it for anything... but at the same time, I love to travel and I love to be able to buy things that I want. So, if it didn’t make me money, it would be more like, “This is so rewarding BUT...” If I don’t make enough to live the life I want, I would need to change my path. So, I’m glad that I all clicks and connects and makes sense. It feels pretty damn good.

on the FLIP SIDE of that, What are some of your greatest challenges?

Well, that’s easy. I try to make genuine connections and I am personally invested in every single person that I work with. I don’t care what anybody says - if they’re not [invested], then they’re not doing their job right. Because it’s their house! It’s potentially the REST of their life that they’re looking for so you feel pressure [to make sure] that they’re happy at the end of the day. I think the very worst part of my job is if somebody is unhappy and they blame me for it. There is nothing worse.

I think people don’t really understand what a realtor’s job is. Our job is to negotiate contracts on your behalf because we understand the contract language and we understand the market. We’re not really finding you the house... you’re kind of finding your own house. We could show you three options and you’re like, “I don’t wanna see any of that” and we’re like “great! Here’s three more options!” So, you’re picking the house that you’re going to and then you’re picking the house that you want to make an offer on. We’re just helping you make the smart decisions once you find the one you want. Other than that, we’re just advising you. So, we’re like “Okay, this is your inspection, here’s your report, these are what the defects are, we should negotiate these.” But ultimately, it’s up to you. You’re in the driver’s seat. We just work on your behalf.

I had a particular client who was referred to me. She didn’t live here - she was out west. She was a single older woman and she was moving to Richmond. So, since she wasn’t physically here, I wanted her to feel comfortable. She had a roof issue. (Again, this is not my job… I just wanted her to feel comfortable) so I had four roofers come out, look at her roof, give her the okay on it… She had an inspection done, and in the inspection, it’ll say, “Here are your true defects” and it will go over things like: your house is old, so there’s probably lead in the paint. Don’t eat the paint! If you’re going to get something demolished, make sure that you have a lead person or someone come out. There’s probably asbestos on your piping because it’s that old but you know… don’t go downstairs and huff your pipes. As long as you’re not ingesting these things then you’re probably fine. But it has a warning at the end of the report and I always say, “Read your whole report and then come back to me and we’ll talk about it.”

Most people don’t read their whole report. So, I always feel like I’ve absolved myself of responsibility because I say to read it all and regardless of whether you do or not, these are the things we can actually negotiate. Because if there is asbestos, that’s grandfathered in, we can’t negotiate that anyway.

And so she moved in and everything was fine, but then a month in, she called me and was very upset that her HVAC was under the window near her master bedroom. She was upset that it was on in the summer and she couldn’t sleep because it was making noise. There’s no way I could have known that and there’s just nothing I could do about it. She was obviously very upset, she said it was designed poorly by the person who renovated it.

Then, three months after that, I get an email. Me, the listing agent, and the contractor who renovated the home get an email from her going on about how we all did not do our job properly, and tricked her into buying a house that was terrible. She had a leak in her basement and the [workers] came down and said, “You know there’s asbestos on your pipes. You might want to get that taken out.” In the email, she says “To my surprise, it was in the inspection report that there was likely asbestos on my pipes and it was never addressed by my realtor, Michelle, and I paid $21,000 to get the asbestos pipes replaced.” And I’m like … “If you had called me, I would have told you that every single house in your neighborhood has asbestos pipes and they are taking advantage of you by making you replace pipes that you don’t have to!” But it was too late, she had already done it. She hated us and I was trying so hard to find the emails where I told her to read the whole report and if she was concerned about that, I definitely would have addressed it.

But that was just heart-wrenching. I cried for days. You know, you try so hard... and I know that I spent maybe 12 hours extra specifically on her to make her feel more comfortable and then she got taken advantage of, which I’m so mad about! She never responded to my explanation of things and how I thought she was taken advantage of, of course… so I don’t know if she’s still out in the world hating me, but that was probably my biggest turmoil in the job so far. Not from listing agents or from inspectors or whatever... it’s from a client that I genuinely worked my ass off for.

But yeah, I would say that’s the biggest challenge in my job... when I feel unappreciated. It hurts. Especially with house purchasing. There’s no take backs. Like... if you’re unhappy with a shirt and you return it, you’re like “Okay, well I’ll get a shirt I do like!” But with houses, you can’t just list it. You’ll lose money. I hate feeling like I’ve under delivered. I lot of times, I know that I haven’t... if they don’t feel happy then it’s the same, regardless.

what inspires you and How do you keep motivated?

The people at my job who have kids, who have lives outside of their jobs, who work their asses off and do really well... and then they also have friends and family events that they can go to and vacations they can take. It just seems very natural to them. In real estate, your schedule is never predicted and sometimes I wake up and I’m like, “Nice! I have nothing on my schedule! I’m going to sleep and I’m going to grocery shop and I’m going to do laundry!” and then I’m just [suddenly]… not free. People are like, “What about this house?” And then I get calls and all this stuff.

Those people are what inspires me to have that life. I think, “I can still get married, I can still have a kid, I can still have friends, I can still travel and I can still work my ass off and do well.”

There are tons of days I’m not motivated, to be honest. There are tons of days where I see 44 emails come in that actually need a paragraph response and I’m like… “Not this morning. I’m taking a break.” It just gets overwhelming and especially when there are 20 people who are relying on you to find their dream home and they sometimes have these unrealistic expectations.

At the end of the day, I do enjoy what I do. I enjoy my friends, I enjoy Femme Forward, I enjoy the things that I surround myself with. So, it’s easy to have a bad day and then remember the good days and think, “I’m going to come back. I’m going to answer those emails later. Right now it’s overwhelming, but later today I know that once I answer all of them, I’ll have a schedule figured out and I’ll feel more confident going into the week.”

Also… a girl’s gotta eat! And now, being pregnant, it’s a very different feeling when I make any money. It feels selfish almost. It’s a weird feeling to describe. Before, I would make money and I would be like, “Sweet! I’m putting this in my savings and I’m going to Bermuda.” Now I feel like it’s very much, “What if they have a broken leg when they’re 12?” I feel anxious about having enough and being a provider.

The people around me who inspire me stay motivated because they work for their children and I think it’s going to be interesting. Because when you’re working for yourself, and you’re okay and you feel like you’ve got six months covered, so you can kind of take a break, not respond to emails and the world’s not going to end. It feels different when there’s a mouth depending on you.

It feels good though! It feels good to not work for yourself. It’s very weird and it’s very instant. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I was like “I don’t have enough stuff. I don’t have ANY stuff. I don’t have anything to take care of a kid! I don’t even have a room picked out!”

Do you have any advice for anyone seeking to get into your line of work?

I think that a lot of people approach Real Estate like a side gig. I have literally never seen anyone be successful that way. It’s just not a feasible thing. I’ve also never really seen someone that’s introverted do well. It’s a very self-sacrificing, no-shame thing. You get denied more than you get accepted. I’ve called so many friends that I haven’t talked to in years and for so many people, it’s weird. I’m not texting, I’m calling them! And then I go “Hey! How are you? Long time no talk!” And they’re like... “What is happening? What are you trying to sell me?”

It sounds very telemarkety at first… and that's something that I hate. It’s weird to walk that line, because you kind of have to constantly put yourself out there and see if anyone is interested and wants to have coffee and talk about it. Once you get the coffee date, they realize that you’re not a telemarketer and you’re not just trying to sell them something... but actually trying to get everyone - especially in our age group, who think they can’t afford it - to realize that rent is stupid and you’re literally paying someone else’s mortgage. You could be paying less and paying your own mortgage!

If you’re a person who thrives on schedules and things going as planned, this is not for you! I have seen so many people come into real estate and get upset when things get cancelled because they planned their whole day around being in [a certain] area. It just stresses them out and they quit.

I would also say that a lot of people don’t understand how little you make in the beginning. It’s kind of like any commissioned job. You have to prove yourself. It’s hard when you’re a realtor and you go up to somebody and they ask, “How many houses have you sold?” So you have to find people who are willing to give you a chance. They say on average, realtors on their first year sell three homes and that makes them under $30,000 a year. To be a realtor, it costs about $6,000 a year just to keep your license current, you have to drive a lot and you have to market yourself and you have to pay for all that stuff... so essentially you make no money.

In the first six months you will probably not close on a home. Just expect that and make sure you can live for six months. Then after six months, if you feel no motivation to try anymore, don’t waste your time. Don’t continue trying to go down that path.

That’s my advice... just be social, have thick skin and have some self motivation to not give up. You have to be one of those people who gets punched in the face repeatedly and say, “It’s fine, I’m just going to keep trying.” Just keep trying!

Interested in working with Michelle on buying a home? Visit the website and reach out! | RIVER FOX REALTY
You can also follow her on instagram | @RVAHOMEGIRL